Discipline Guidelines
The most important aspect of discipline is to be consistent, consistent, consistent! The limits should be set and reinforced by everyone in the family and all of the caregivers. The discipline must be developmentally appropriate and provided in a safe and loving environment.
Although there is no "right" way to discipline a child there are some general guidelines to follow.
- 1. Positive reinforcement tends to work better than negative reinforcement. For example-praising good behavior vs. yelling and punishment for bad behavior.
- 2. Be sure the strategies of discipline are developmentally appropriate.
- Birth to 6 months- No discipline.
- Toddlers-Time-outs work very well. You need to be consistent and deliver the time-out immediately after the unwanted behavior. In general time-outs should be about 1 minute per 1 year of age, up to 5 minutes. They only work if used consistently. Ignore tantrums, just be sure they are in a safe environment. Distraction is also a good tool in this age group.
- >4-5 years-Children are old enough to understand consequences of their actions and why they are being disciplined. It is still important to give positive reinforcement, but taking away privileges or activities is also effective. It is also very important to discuss their behavior and how they may have handled the situation differently.
Less effective forms of disciple include negative reinforcement. If is important the child understands that the behavior was unacceptable, they are not bad. Using negative statements such as you are a "bad girl" may affect self esteem, whereas saying "you should not have done that because....." will teach them the lesson in a positive manner. Also, physical punishment such as spanking may not be bad if used appropriately, however, there are better more effective ways to discipline, as previously mentioned.
For any further questions, please call our office. Recommended reading includes Common Sense Parenting of Toddlers and Preschoolers by Bridget A. Barnes and Steven M. York, M.H.D.